Elvis Montero

Life on the GDrive: Cloud me up, Scotty!

Google is at it again! The Internet giant is trying to render PCs obsolete, as evidenced by this recent article on The Observer:

The Google Drive, or “GDrive”, could kill off the desktop computer, which relies on a powerful hard drive. Instead a user’s personal files and operating system could be stored on Google’s own servers and accessed via the internet.

The long-rumoured GDrive is expected to be launched this year, according to the technology news website TG Daily, which described it as “the most anticipated Google product so far”. It is seen as a paradigm shift away from Microsoft’s Windows operating system, which runs inside most of the world’s computers, in favour of “cloud computing“, where the processing and storage is done thousands of miles away in remote data centres.

Let’s pretend for just a second there won’t be a bazillion different privacy advocates wailing uncontrollably over the GDrive and, if possible, let’s focus our attention on a different topic. Although privacy is indeed a genuine concern, my qualms about GDrive are more mundane. I care deeply about availability.

Are we honestly ready to relinquish total control of our hard drives to an online company? Google would undoubtedly be an excellent candidate given its formidable position. The company already possesses piles of our most precious personal information (nothing new there). Moreover, Google has an enviable IT architecture and amounts of cash that defy reason. However, the company is not immune to the Freddy Kruger of every Internet business: the evil, life-altering downtime.

Oh. My. God! Nooooooooooooooooooo!

If you recall it correctly, I have already expressed my consternation about the almighty online apps and their propensity to wreak havoc:

We are used to thinking that internet applications are always and everlasting. If it’s online, it’s going to be there forever. Period. What if, all of the sudden, your favored site goes offline indefinitely? Do you have a backup strategy? Oh, you think that’s nonsensical? Jocular perhaps? Not for the many people who tried to access Gmail a few weeks ago, just to realize Google’s famous free mail service was unavailable.

The downtime lasted several hours. As one would expect, the public outcry was rampant and merciless. How is it possible that Google, arguably one of the most powerful IT companies in the world, experienced such an abnormal, incredibly long downtime? Alas, they are not alone in this department.

I even presented a logical solution to the problem at the end of my Reporter article: backups. Nevertheless, if you find my case rather extemporaneous, you can check Mr Jason Scott’s verbose, albeit entirely factual, “F*** The Cloud“:

Contrast, though, when people are dumping hundreds of hours a year into the Cloud. Blowing out photos. Entering day after day of entries. Sharing memories, talking about subjects that matter to them. Linking friends or commenting on statuses or trading twitters or what have you. This is a big piece, a very big piece of what is probably important stuff.

Don’t trust the Cloud to safekeep this stuff. Hell yeah, use the Cloud, blow whatever you want into the Cloud. The Internet’s a big copy machine, as they say. Blow copies into the Cloud. But please:

• Don’t blow anything into the Cloud that you don’t have a personal copy of.
• Insult, berate and make fun of any company that offers you something like a “sharing” site that makes you push stuff in that you can’t make copies out of or which you can’t export stuff out of. They will burble about technology issues. They are fucking lying. They might go off further about business models. They are fucking stupid. Make fun of these people, and their shitty little Cloud Cities running on low-grade cooking fat and dreams. They will die and they will take your stuff into the hole. Don’t let them.
• Recognize a Cloud when you see it. Are you paying for these services? No? You are a sucker. You are giving people stuff for free. I pay for Vimeo and I pay for Flickr and a couple other things. This makes me a customer. Neither of these places get my only copy of anything.
• If you want to take advantage of the froth, like with YouTube or so Google Video (oh wait! Google Video is going off the air!) then do so, but recognize that these are not Services. These are not dependable enterprises. These are parties. And parties are fun and parties and cool and you meet neat people at parties but parties are not a home.

Let’s all proclaim it now, once and for all: Up yours, Cloud!